INTERNET DOWN. FACK.

MY INTERNET is broken and wont be fixed until FRIDAY, but ill try my hardest to post new articles until then. BUT coming friday will be a new article about this past weekend where myself, my roommate, and roger and jesus had our annual adventure, and yes, there will be videos...

Until then here are some updates going on in LIFE for me:

--I got my car washed for 20 bucks. Two days later I parked next to a sprinkler, only I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS THERE.

--I refuse to sign up for FACEBOOK even though I know many of you are on it. I just cant find a reason to create and maintain another new social networking profile that nobody will read IN ADDITION to MYSPACE and my BLOG, both of which nobody reads anyway.

--The douchebag phenomena has spread to girls. The other day I saw a girl wearing a polo shirt with a popped collar, white visor, raggedy jeans sagged with boxers exposed, and flipflops. She may have been a lesbian.

--I cant say which one but a kid at a certain PIZZA restaurant totally hooked us up with a spinning police light worth 2000 tickets when we only had 235 the other day. Even though we had it on inside the car, arrests did NOT ensue.

--If your friends have staged a wicked bad practical joke on another friend, don't tell that friend what it is and then dismantle it. NICK.

--If you ever try to pull a TEEN WOLF from inside a jeep and stand on the back seat straight up with the top removed and pretend to surf, make sure the driver DOES NOT go over any speed bumps. Fast. On purpose. JESUS.

--Don't ever get internet service from a company that rhymes with IGNITION.

THE GOOD ONE. A REVIEW.

This weekend I finally got a chance to watch LET THE RIGHT ONE IN. A Swedish movie based on a novel, this movie is about a young boy who gets a new neighbor-a vampire. Now before TWILIGHT comes to mind know that this movie was not borne of that whole TWILIGHT vampire craze. This movie is more like BLADE, in that the vampire rules and myths still apply, and has wicked gore to boot. Though this movie is very effective as a horror film, it tends to be more on the 'coming of age' side, which may turn itself off to many. But thats where the really horror lies. This young boy becomes infatuated with this young vampire girl and fully accepts her as she is-a being who kills innocent people to provide nutrition for herself. Definitely a movie to watch if you are in need of a refreshing vampire movie with plenty of scares and great special effects. As I said earlier it is somewhat more of a coming of age story for the two young kids, but thats what sets it apart from other vampire movies, in a way making it feel more real, making it much more terrifying. OH, and theres a scene where a vampire is exposed to sunlight, and its probably the best scene of that subject matter of all time.

THE ABYSS GAZES ALSO. A REVIEW.

I wont spend time digging into the plot here but WATCHMEN follows a masked crimefighter's quest to solve a murder and his discovery of a plot far more terrifying, and reuniting with his former friends along the way.  In my reviews I try to stay away from giving movies any specific ratings like amounts of stars or rating on a scale, I usually express the impact, if any, the film has left on me.  And WATCHMEN hit me like a ton of bricks, in a fantastic way. 

First you have to understand, this is NOT a superhero movie.  It's a neo-noir, murder mystery, detective story with elements of sci-fi, comedy, and starring masked crimefighters.  I received some pushback from a certain person who read the graphic novel and claimed that there wasnt 'superheroes in it' and it was a 'waste of time'.  Let me just say I never told this person it was a superhero comic, I said it had a great story.  Which is true for the film.  If you want heroes chasing bad guys, cat and mouse games, goofy one-liners, and heroic deeds then rent BATMAN & ROBIN and turn off your brain, because WATCHMEN will bore you.  This is an unconventional story with an unconventional resolution, laced with quantum physics, teeming with brutality, and when the ending hits you, you wont know what to think, and you'll see why when it happens.  This is a far more intellectual comic book movie than your SPIDERMANS or FANTASTIC FOURS.  Second you have to know this film was adapted from a 12 chapter grapic novel that features two 'books within a book' storylines.  There is a lot of material, this is a long movie.  Its almost 3 hours long.  I had NO problem with this but the average moviegoer might.  After the film some people complained of it being too long, well all those people didnt KNOW BEFORE HAND that it was that long so if you plan on watching it, plan on sitting for a long time.

The film's focus shifts from its overall conspiracy story and adds much more action and character development, which at first can be frustrating since at times the plot is absent completely to make way for character flashbacks, but its all warranted.  To have these characters in the movie and not explain them would be wasteful, it would be like building a castle out of toothpicks and not showing how you made it.  That being said the characters are GREAT, each actor really got to know what makes their character stand out and became them, especially RORSCHACH.  My favorite scene is when [SPOILER HIGHLIGHT TO READ]Rorschach is captured by the police and they bring him to the ground and rip away his mask and he screams 'GIVE ME BACK MY FACE!' I nearly cried.[END SPOILER], and also when [SPOILER]when Rorschach 'becomes' Rorschach and kills a child murderer, with just using body language and heavy breathing you manage to know exactly what he's feeling as he is all at once angry, sad, and terrified at what he has done and what he has become.[END] or mostly any scene with Rorschach for that matter.

This is an enormous film, and the upcoming directors cut version aside, this is the best WATCHMEN film I could have ever hoped for.  Sure it has its flaws.  It moves very fast, leaving almost no time for the audience to catch up in case they miss something.  The ending credits song is terrible. And sure some elements were changed and some were removed entirely, but the main points are there, it is still WATCHMEN in all sound, vision, and heart, and as you sit trying to dissect and understand it, it is doing the same to you.  I know this film isnt getting the best reviews right now, and they range from outstanding to terrible, part of that could because it requires a bit more focus from the viewer than the average audience.  But all reviews are relative.  It all boils down to expectation.  Expect to be entertained.  Expect this movie to be better than EVERYTHING else currently playing in theaters.  Expect to challenge the characters' decisions.  Expect to sit for almost 3 hours.  This film is not for everybody, but if you find its for YOU, then expect to be amazed at this great piece of cinema.  I can go on and on about how it could have been better, how it could have been worse (a previous draft of the script had the film set in current times instead of the alternate 1985 from the graphic novel), but I would be wasting time because we've got something that deserves its accolades for what it is.  It's not perfect, but its very effective, and if you can just expect that, you will greatly enjoy WATCHMEN.  I cant wait until I get the chance to see it again.

MOVIES YOU HAVEN'T SEEN, VOL. 2

In honor of the PUBLIC ENEMIES trailer debut ive chosen HEAT as the basis of my next article.

HEAT (1995)

Directed by MICHAEL MANN

One of my favorite movies of all time, HEAT is billed as 'A LOS ANGELES CRIME SAGA', and it couldnt be more true.  HEAT is one of those movies that ill watch at anytime, even if i catch it edited on cable and its already 45 minutes into the movie.  The film is about an expert team of bank robbers and a dedicated cop who wont rest until he's captured them.  I dont want to go too much into the plot because though its somewhat simple, there are great characters that have amazing interaction with each other, and keeps you compelled to find out what they'll do next.  The movie stars Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Tom Sizemore, and Danny Trejo, who are all great and believable in each of their roles.  The film is seen as a precursor to THE DARK KNIGHT by some and there are definitely parallels.  The story is just as much about the city as it is the characters,  most of the scenes take place out in the open or in different establishments within the city of L.A.  Also the use of shots and colors to define and develop characters is excellent, some scenes tell a lot about their characters without anybody saying anything at all.  The story compels all the way through to the ending and the characters stay with you long after it's over.  SO check it out, i saw it at FRYS ELECTRONICS for 10 bucks for the double disc special edition, definitely worth picking up for that price, you will be very impressed.  And if PUBLIC ENEMIES is anywhere near the caliber of HEAT, it could be another winner for MANN and movie fans.

NEW TRAILERS.

Saw the new TERMINATOR SALVATION trailer, and it looks way less sucky then I thought it would be. It actually looks really good. If you havent seen it, ive put the embed below so you can! Courtesy of Yahoo! Movies...




Here's what I like about TS:
1. Christian Bale as John Connor. Anything that can take the bad taste of Nick Stahl as Connor in T3 is welcome, and Bale is the right guy to play a soldier in the future.

2. The new Terminator, Marcus. I like the whole "Im a terminator but I think im a human" angle thats in the plot. It takes the whole Terminator storyline into different territory. Part of why T3 wasnt so great was because it was basically T2 with different ending, and by the looks of it this Terminator movie will be a different story than the 'killer from the future' thing we've seen already.

3. Christopher Nolan helped with script rewrites. Nolan visited the set during filming and talked with director about character development and was invited to join in and rewrite certain scenes in the movie. Remember he co-wrote THE DARK KNIGHT, so the man knows character development.

Things I dont like so much:
1. The NEW 'Terminators'. Im still not digging the motorcycle terminator or the giant terminator, the whole thing seems too close to 'Transformers' to me, almost as if WB wants to capitalize on any Transformers fire still left in moviegoers. Don't get me wrong, the designs look badass, but it feels like theyre glombing on to another franchise's selling point.

2. The rating. The producer said some IFFY things about what the movie might be rated. Basically what he said was TDK was the highest grossing movie of the year and it was PG-13, and on the other hand THE MATRIX was R and made lots of money as well. Let me just say this movie BETTER be rated R. Theres no way they can make this PG-13 if they want to keep all the robot smashing, exploding, skin removing frenzy from the first two movies. But all the ambiguity aside, i really dont think it'll be rated anything other than R, Terminator has always been rated R and they risk offending a whole barrage of fanboys if they dont release it so. Just like Die Hard 4...





MOVING ON, the new trailer for PUBLIC ENEMIES also debuted this week, i couldnt find an embed code so you'll have to go to apple.com to watch it. PE is about the hunt for John Dillinger during his heyday. JOHNNY DEPP plays Dillinger and CHRISTIAN BALE plays Melvin Purvis, the cop on his trail. This movie was directed by Michael Mann, director of some of the best movies out, MIAMI VICE, HEAT, ALI, COLLATERAL, to name a few. Movie looks GREAT, cant wait to see DEPP and Dillinger rob banks, be kind to bankers, and be smooooooth to the ladies. I just hope BALE creates his own character in this film, he has played GREAT characters in other movies but they are characters that have already been established in other franchises. BATMAN, JOHN CONNOR, even though he's played them GREAT, he hasnt really created his own signature character that he's created. When people think BRUCE WILLIS, they think DIE HARD, when people think ARNOLD they think TERMINATOR, and when people think STALLONE they think ROCKY. When people think BALE they think BATMAN, which isnt BAD but it would be cool to see Bale build a signature character on his own terms, and this movie could be his chance. We'll have to wait and see, but it looks like it WONT disappoint.

One day until midnight...

The day is almost upon us. WATCHMEN is almost here. Before we all experiece it I wanted to write a preface to my upcoming review (which WILL be online Friday morning for all of you to read). I have said this before and I stand by it; comicbooks and movies are two vastly different storytelling mediums. Let's just remember this as we watch the movie. Let's just watch it and take it as it is and if it entertains then great, if it doesn't then we wasted money, big deal. So all current reviews aside let's reserve judgement until we watch the movie and not stunt our experience with negative reviews by purists of the comic. It's a movie, not a comic. 3 acts, not 12. 2.5 hours, not 5.5. Wether or not it will be a great adaptation, I'm sure it'll be a great film.

Ar!!

So, a few years ago two dudes had a radio show THE BIG O AND DUKES SHOW on 101.5FM back when it was a talk station known as FREE FM, before it becam 1015JAMZ, and it was the best radio show ever. Then the station changed formats and they had to leave. They started their show anew in their hometown of DC and ive been listening to them ever since then..

Today, they returned to Tempe for the weekend and I had my chance to kick it with them at last.

Heres all the folks waiting for the boys to show up.

ME with O and D. BONUS, Jack & Coke courtesy of one Oscar Santana.

ME and DRAB T-SHIRT, with a MOUNTAIN DEW no less.

LOTS of fun, hopefully they return soon. Check out their show on wjfk.com for a stream of the show from 830-130 AZ time (its the morning drive to work for most of you) on WJFK.COM or on a handy dandy AOL RADIO app for iphone/ipod touch, or download some podcasts for FREE on iTunes, they're into the same things you are: xbox, movies, comic books, rap, drinking, John Cusack movies, MMA, making fun of people, etc. So check them out if you got some time