On the evening of the WATCHMEN release...

WATCHMEN arrives on bluray and DVD tomorrow and I can't wait to get a copy.  It's gonna be a great day tomorrow, a great time wasting day.  SO until I can watch the new director's cut and offer my opinion, here are some things that have been on my mind;

EASTBOUND & DOWN is now on DVD and if you havent watched the show, YOU HAVE TO.  BUY the DVD if you can.  If you can't, buy a knife, and steal it.  It's that great of a show.  If you are a fan of Talladega Nights, Pineapple Express, or The Foot Fist Way, this is a must watch show.  Even if the first season is only about 7 episodes long, its worth every penny to hear Kenny Powers say 'I made sex to her', and 'On the reg'.

ANDY SAMBERG'S 'MOTHERLOVERS' AND FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS' 'CAROL BROWN' BOTH NOMINATED FOR EMMYS and if Andy Samberg wins over FOTC, I will lose faith in man.  There is NO way that FOTC cannot win this.  CAROL BROWN, and the episode it comes from, were the best of the second season, and Andy Samberg is...well Andy Samberg.  I had the pleasure of seeing FOTC live a few months ago and I can easily say its been the most entertaining show I have ever been to.  They just need the cred they deserve.

SCARLETT JOHANSSON AS BLACK WIDOW PICTURES are now online and just as I thought, ridiculous.  She looks like an awkward chubby teenager in a bad costume, add that to an actress that can't act, and we have bad news coming.  Everything about Iron Man 2 looked great until I heard she was going to be Black Widow, then the pictures came and it got worse.  I just hope she only shows up for 15 minutes of the movie, or at least all her scenes are in the dark.

'LET THE RIGHT ONE IN' UNNECESSARILY REMADE FOR U.S. THEATERS.  If you read my reviews, you'll know about a movie called LET THE RIGHT ONE IN, a Polish film about a young boy who befriends a young girl who turns out to be a vampire.  Now, me being a fan for (real, geek) vampires (not TWILIGHT, trendy, false vampires who make up their own rules) and zombies/undead in any movie, I enjoyed it very much.  Seeing as how the movie was great as it was, someone decided to make an Americanized remake, probably because they would rather spend money to make a new version in English with hip American names and corny Alt-Rock music cued juuuuuuuust right, instead of having people read subtitles.  The director of CLOVERFIELD will direct the new version re-titled "Let Me In".  I got no problems with the guy, I enjoyed CLOVERFIELD very much, but at the end of the day CLOVERFIELD was a monster movie.  No real vision or sense of directorial ownership.  In other words, the director made no difference, the movie probably would have been the same had it been directed by anybody else.  So i dont know how to feel about this director.  Could he have made CLOVERFIELD an even more important film had he injected his own personal directing style?  Did he do that already and we just cant tell because he HAS no style?  We'll just have to wait and see I guess.  All I'm saying is, why mess with something that is perfectly enjoyable as it is.

Ok, thats all for today.  I'll try to watch some more movies this week and write up some reviews, so keep looking for those.  500 DAYS OF SUMMER opens Friday, so look for a review here on that, and most likely a review of an old movie.  For fun.  

CONSEQUENCES. A PICTORIAL ESSAY.

Here are some consequences that I have recently suffered.  All the pictures included below are real and unaltered in any way, and were shot by me.

This is what you get when you order a MEDIUM drink at a place that only has LARGE and SMALL drinks on the menu.

This is what happens when you order a subscription to Electronic Gaming Monthly.

This is what you get when you order EIGHT cupcakes with only TWO people present.

This is what happens when I feel that you are drunk enough that you might throw up in my car on the way home.

PS, I added a nifty SEARCH bar to the left, so you can now search ALL my articles for content in case you need to find an article but forgot when it was posted!  And if you're me, you can recall your own damn articles yourself and not be caught off guard when somebody quotes your reviews and you don't get the reference.  Thanks to Pat for the inspiration for the new addition.

Public Enemies. A review.

I've been meaning to update my blog this week with something other than a movie review but frankly, it's been a little tough.  More articles will come, soon, so please just stay patient.  I'll try my best to write something new this week for everybody, until then here's my review for PUBLIC ENEMIES.

I'm sure you are all aware of my extreme attraction to Michael Mann's HEAT, so for that, his new film PUBLIC ENEMIES was always going to be great in my mind.  But was it?  I wouldn't say great, but it's definitely one of the more enjoyable films so far this year.

This film is certainly rich with story and characters, only they all just appear, all of a sudden.  Most of their backstories and motives are never really explained, they just are, and they just do.  Which is fine, except with a film about one of the most notorious, elusive, and mysterious criminal minds in American history, I expected a little bit more.

It seems as though the director's goal was to somewhat ground all the myths around John Dillinger and the way he lived.  And in the film, Dillinger is not as mythical and mysterious as all the stories you've heard may lead you to believe.  That's all well and good, but we needed more, we needed to see what sets Dillinger so far apart from other gangsters like Baby Face Nelson and Al Capone.  What makes him so unique that he warrants a two and a half hour movie?

The film takes place during some of the most significant events in Dillinger's life, and each event is played out so naturally, it'll feel like you are watching a documentary.  All of the standoff/gunfighting scenes feel so real, and place you so close to the action you might catch yourself flinching at some gunfire.  And though the movie is about two and a half hours long, it really felt like every scene of the movie needed to be in there.  This movie doesn't leave you with a lasting echo in your brain when it ends (like HEAT does), but it does fulfill your needs for a highly entertaining gangster epic that audiences have not seen in a long time.  And one that's truly worth seeing.

Oh no you di'int. A review.

A strange thing happened to me when I was watching Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.  I wanted to leave.

It wasn't immediately, though.  It came later on, when the comic relief became so excruciating that I thought to myself 'nothing has been, or probably will be, so severely cool that I need to sit through this'.  And had it not been 2AM on a Tuesday, I might have left.  But I didn't.

I am not writing my review with the intentions that you will not see this move, even though nothing I can write will keep ANYBODY from watching this movie because it is so greatly anticipated, I am merely writing it to help you set your expectations.

First off I LOVED the first Transformers movie.  Many people criticize the first movie because its story and plot weren't as high a caliber as it could have been, but so what.  This was the first live action Transformers ever, it could have been Optimus Prime tuning a violin for 3 hours and I would have loved it along with everybody else.  So for the first movie, they could get away with that stuff.  They thought they could commit the same crime twice with Transformers 2 and get away with it but they couldn't.  Despite its flaws I liked Transformers 2, just not as much as the first movie, which I hold as the superior Transformers movie.  I won't go too much into the plot and spoilers but I will say a a few things that made me want to leave the theater;  1. The main villain is supposed to be so evil and powerful, but he DOESNT DO ANYTHING until the very end.  2. There are two new 'twin' Autobots that are so transparently racially stereotypical its painful to watch, and they are supposed to be the comic relief.  NOBODY in the theater laughed when they were on screen, and I could feel the entire audience collectively cringe at once everytime they spoke.  3. WAY too much time is spent with the human characters, and they all are just shouting goofy one-liners.  ALL of them.  If they had cut 50% of these scenes and turned them into dialogue and interaction within the Autobot team, this would have been one amazing Transformers movie.  And one that would have been hard to top.  I could go on, but I try to stay positive, and since this is a Transformers movie, it gets special treatment.

BUT, there were parts that were just plain awesome.  The fight scenes are 10x better than the first movie, and there were a few moments in the movie where I literally threw my arms up and cheered, much to the dismay of my girlfriend who was sitting next to me.  One of the gem/fanboy scenes that were included were scenes of bickering between Megatron and Starscream.  At one point Megatron actually pushes Starscream to the ground and stomps the hell out of him.  Great additions.

When Transformers Revenge of the Fallen is good, its WAY GOOD.  But when it's bad, you're going to have to challenge yourself to sit through it.  And it's going to be a tough challenge.  But if you have the strength, you're in for a giant ride.  All the things that Transformers fans could want is in this movie, but you have to fight through a lot of excess to reach it.

Fair Deal.

OK, so as you know, as you should have read on my blog, my favorite magazine EGM (Electronic Gaming Montly) was shut down abruptly leaving myself and hundreds of others out to dry. And like myself, hundreds of others still had issues due to them as part of their paid subscription, I think I had at least 6 months left in my subscription when the mag went under. Well, good news comes today that all remaining issues due to EGM subscribers will be sent to them...in the form of issues of MAXIM. Thats right, they are going to reimburse my subscription with MAXIM magazines. This makes sense, I'm going to make a wild guess and say that a vast majority of the readers of EGM were males 16-25 which would be the target audience of MAXIM, and they are both owned by the same publisher. Cool, sounds fair to me, sounds better than being paid out $5.27, since I only paid $9.99 for an entire years subscription. Only thing is my subscription was sent to my mom's house...boy will she get an awkward surprise when she checks the mail this week. And the next 5 or 6 months.

DELAY/PROJECT TZC-001

FIRST, I apologize for keeping this space vacant for quite a while now.  I sort have been skipping over my blog for a few weeks in favor of facebook.  My bad.  Well, I'm back now and I can only say that the absence of articles wasn't for nothing.  For the past couple of weeks/currently I am  working on a top secret project that I cannot yet reveal.  Rest assured I'll be dropping some clues and info to you all when I am able to, right here on the blog.  For now lets just call the project TZC-001.  All I can say at this time is check out my Zazzle store, it might have some...items of foreshadowing.  And no, the Zazzle store is NOT the project.  Thats just something I do for fun and out of spite.  

E3 DAY ONE: MICROSOFT CONFERENCE

DAY ONE at E3, no I'm not there, I'm at home watching the G4 coverage live.  Today is the Microsoft Conference, tomorrow will be Sony and Nintendo.  I am a little biased because I don't own an X360, but thats not to say I don't like the console.  I just don't own one.  So I apologize if some of the games mentioned don't sound too exciting, I'm sure they are fine but I more than likely wont be playing them.  Please also visit some of the gaming sites that I read, to get different opinions on todays announcements, and in case I forgot some games or announcements:

1UP.COM

IGN.COM

BITMOB.COM

GAMESPOT.COM

THE GAMES:

BEATLES ROCK BAND; VIDEO/DEMO.  The conf. opened with the opening cinematic from The Beatles RB which looked amazing.

MODERN WARFARE 2; VIDEO/DEMO.  Gameplay in a snow environment.

JOYRIDE; VIDEO.  XBLA download, uses avatars to race in a Wacky Racers/Crash Team Racing style racing game.

TONY HAWK RIDE; VIDEO.  Gameplay includes using a skateboard peripheral that is similar to the Wii Balance Board.  

FORZA MOTORSPORT 3; VIDEO.  

FINAL FANTASY XIII; VIDEO/DEMO.

SPLINTER CELL CONVICTION; VIDEO.

LEFT 4 DEAD 2; VIDEO.

HALO 3 ODST; VIDEO/DEMO.  Essentially Halo 3 but played as an ODST instead of a Spartan, so you have access to different tech such as visors and weapons.  It is a breath of fresh for sure, but I'm not sure how long the sensation will last, since the game is set right before Halo 3, it seems like you wont be treading any new waters. 

HALO REACH; VIDEO.  Multiplayer Beta available with purchase of Halo ODST.  HALO Prequel.

ALAN WAKE; VIDEO/DEMO.  Survival horror only with a novelist as the main character.  Looks very good, very scary.

XBOX LIVE:

LAST.FM ON XBOX LIVE.  Seems cool but if you have an ipod touch/iphone and a good sound system, kinda useless.

NETFLIX ON XBOX LIVE. 

ZUNE VIDEO.  1080P VIDEOS, no downloading necessary, instant stream to console, THE DARK KNIGHT was demoed.   

FACEBOOK.  Post in-game screenshots straight to Facebook.

TWITTER.  WHY DID THIS GET A BIGGER RESPONSE THAN FACEBOOK??  Just stupid.

!   METAL GEAR SOLID  !  METAL GEAR SOLID RISING ANNOUNCED.  Yes, it's on Xbox 360.  Starring Raiden.

YOU ARE THE CONTROLLER - Project Natal.  

Video.  IMPRESSIVE.  Uses full body motion capture to control games and applications.  A sensor bar similar to the Wii sensor bar is mounted near the tv and captures the players movement.  Tech demos in the video included a fighting game, racing game, game show game that showed off voice recognition.  They even showed off a girl talking to her friend through XBLA and dressing themselves like on Clueless.  The technology can be used to simply scroll through the XBOX360 menus, movies just by sliding your hand.  SPIELBERG shows up and reveals that HE HIMSELF is involved with Project Natal, has been for 10 years!!?!  In his own words "its not about reinventing the wheel, its about no wheel at all..."  This technology could be the nail in the Wii coffin...

The demo plays...  Facial recognition signs the user into their account.  MOST IMPRESSIVE.  Demo of 'Ricochet', dodging on screen balls using full body control, are able to move in a fully 3D space, moving forward or backward.

Demo of 'Paint Party', painting on a canvas, uses voice recognition to change the colors that you are using.  The gamer shouted 'Light Blue' and his paint bucket changed to light blue.  The gamer can pose and by saying 'cheese' the game will take a picture of the pose and create a stencil of the image which you can color.

Video of 'Milo'.  A strange video game boy, who can interact with the gamer.  Creepy at best, but revolutionary no less.  Able to recognize emotions and tone in voices.  Interacts with the game in a non scripted manner.  This kid in the game has AI.  Yup, he decides what to do and what to say on his own.  This video MUST be seen.

This is not a game.  This conference just took a step from gaming, to life.  This technology both astonished me and frightened me.  I immediately thought of MINORITY REPORT, where everything was motion controlled, using motion without touch to control cars, video players, and computers.  And now its here.

This is a smart move for Microsoft.  What makes Wii so successful is its playability, its ability to have people pick up and play and to connect gamers young and old, hardcore gamers and non gamers.  What gave it that appeal was the motion control utilized by the Wii remote.  What Microsoft has figured out is that it wasn't the CONTROLLER that people loved, it was the CONTROL.  The ability to use movement to play a game.  They even said "..controllers have been our biggest barrier", its safe to say that he was referring to the Wii Remote.  By effectively removing the remote you have body movement, no equipment to familiarize with, no buttons t memorize, just you.  This is big.  Suddenly Nintendo's Wii remote 'Motion Sensor Plus' add-on seems worthless.  I hope Nintendo has something better than that up its sleeve for tomorrows conference...