THE BEST MOVIES YOU HAVENT SEEN, VOL. 1

This is a new feature on the blog that, if receives enough attention and positive feedback, will become a recurring article.  This feature is meant to discuss movies that have come out, old and new, that were overlooked by many but deserve to be viewed.  So tell me what you think, if you agree or not, and hopefully this feature will motivate you to watch the movies discussed.  Read on.

CONTROL

Released 2007

Directed by Anton Corbijn

One of my favorite films of all time is THE DOORS.  Musicians and music were vastly different than it is today.  And it's always interesting to me to see how the bands before our generation pushed the envelope and created original music and all new genres; and the stories of the  musicians who spiraled into self-depravation, depression, and slowly lost control.  This is one of those stories. This is the story of Joy Division and its musicians.  This is an astonishing film.  If you are a fan of the band Joy Division, you'll enjoy this movie.  If you're not a fan of Joy Division, you will be.  CONTROL is the story of Ian Curtis, lead singer of Joy Division.  Curtis' life of a schoolboy in England grows into a young married man playing gigs with his newly formed band all too quickly for himself to catch up.  With a surprise illness, addiction to drugs and alcohol, and new temptations from being on the road, Curtis' life slips out of his own hands while he struggles to regain a hold on it.

The acting is some of the best of the year.  Its a marvelous wonder that Sam Riley, who plays Ian Curtis, was not nominated for an academy award for his portrayal.  His acting range is exhausted in this role as Ian Curtis, showing the many highs and lows and voids of his life.  It has been said about THE GODFATHER that the acting was so good, you don't for a minute believe that what you're seeing isn't true.  The same can be said for CONTROL.  With movies based on factual events or people there are always exaggerations, changes, and even made up events that are meant to add entertainment value, and make the film more interesting.  But sometimes in doing so, the film becomes less believable, and more incredible.  But with CONTROL there is never any distrust that whats going on in the film is untrue.  And that is a powerful thing to have.  In addition to all this, the film has a severely haunting ending, that is sure to stay with you long after its over.  I had the chance to see this movie in the theater, and I purchased the DVD the same day it was released.  There are some movies that dont have the same power it does after its first viewing, but with its great acting, fantastic music, and impressive photography, CONTROL keeps its strength on multiple viewings. Rent it, and if it's for you; buy it.  

BIZZARO. A REVIEW.

When you watch a Martin Scorsese movie, you expect violence. When you watch a Francis Ford Coppola movie, you expect drama. When you watch a Steven Spielberg movie, you expect to be amazed. When you watch ZACH AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO, you expect a Kevin Smith movie. Unfortunately thats not what you get.

There were people who didnt even know that this movie was made by Kevin Smith. I think I know why. It looks like a Judd Apatow movie. Half of the cast is from THE 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN and the other half is from KNOCKED UP. In all its heart, and in its substance, this is a Kevin Smith movie. The dialogue and characters feel like they can be placed in any Kevin Smith movie, which he sometimes does. But the cast looks like a Judd Apatow production, and that was a juxtaposition that I could not get over during the movie. Im not sure if Kevin Smith CHOSE the cast or the studio chose it for him, because Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks' names on a movie poster are very marketable. So marketable, in fact, that thier names are more dominant on the theatrical poster than Smith's.

Don't get me wrong, its a funny movie, just not what I expected. In Kevin Smith's movies you get to learn EVERYTHING about each of his characters, no matter how intimate or vulgar (Dante from CLERKS tried to suck his own dick; Trisha from MALLRATS fucks a lot; Banky from CHASING AMY occasionally likes to see a chick and a horse, etc.) and that really makes you care about the characters. The characters in ZACH AND MIRI don't have as much backstory, or as many anecdotes as Smith's usual rogues gallery, and it really takes away from they way you feel about them.

Some characters were great. Craig Robinson was hilarious. Jeff Anderson is gold, as usual. Jason Mewes took a refreshing turn as playing someone other than 'Jay'. The only problem is that the best characters were underused. Jeff Anderson has about 4 lines in the movie, and they were the best ones as well. Jason Mewes only started to get funny near the end of the movie, when his character miraculously becomes less dumb.

Kevin Smith is one of my favorite directors. This was an extra long review because people are more critical to things that they are more passionate about. The only Kevin Smith movie I haven't seen is JERSEY GIRL, because it is PG-13, and thats like a REESES CUP without peanut butter. I was expecting more. The only way I can explain this movie is this; you have a Ford Mustang, but instead of the Mustang logo, you have an Impala logo. It feels, sounds, and drives like a Mustang, but the big Impala logo takes away from the experience of owning it, because its as if someone is trying to make it look like something its not. If you are expecting a FUNNY movie, you wont be let down; If you are expecting a KEVIN SMITH movie; you're expecting too much.

BONUS. After you watch the movie, read the next portion below. Its ways this funny movie could have been a Kevin Smith Movie.
[HIGHLIGHT]
1. Change The Cast.
2. Have a less ambiguous ending.
3. Make the movie take place in New Jersey. Like all Kevin Smith movies.
4. Shorten the sex scenes. It got awkward after a while.
5. Add in cameos. Even CLERKS 2 had Ben Affleck, Jason Lee, Earthquake, and Wanda Sykes.

FINALLY; I DONT BELIEVE; FINALLY PART II

1. From ultimate-guitar.com i read that MTV GAMES and HARMONIX the folks who developed both ROCK BAND games announced that they are making a music game containing nothing but music from THE BEATLES. Wow. I had read a rumor about this in EGM two months ago but the rumors then were that ACTIVISION was going to make a GUITAR HERO BEATLES EDITION, sort of like the GUITAR HERO AEROSMITH that came out last year. HARMONIX said that this WILL NOT be a ROCK BAND game, but instead a brand new standalone game in the spirit of ROCK BAND. I just hope that it has all four instruments and that its compatible with all ROCK BAND gear. If I could play 'Cant buy me love' just once in video game form before i pass, ill be a happy fellow. No official release date yet on the game.




Playing a ROCK BAND style game with THE BEATLES??? Imagine. Just imagine.


2. From aintitcool.com, Fox cancels KING OF THE HILL. Here's how i rate the sunday night cartoon lineup on fox: Simpsons, KOTH, Family guy. And thats it. The ratings have been down for a few seasons on the show, but the writing is still as good as ever, so this is a shame. Ill still watch reruns on FX though.

3. From joblo.com, GHOSTBUSTERS GAME IS GOING TO BE RELEASED AFTER ALL. The GHOSTBUSTERS sequel game was all but finished when it was indefinitely postponed due to its publisher being bought out by another publisher. But thankfully old schooler ATARI has bought the publishing rights to the game and has announced a release date for next year, the 25th anniversary of the movie. So next year I get a GHOSTBUSTERS game, probably a GHOSTBUSTERS blu-ray, and POSSIBLY a third GHOSTBUSTERS movie? All on top of WATCHMEN, TRANSFORMERS 2, PUBLIC ENEMIES, WOLVERINE, and RESIDENT EVIL 5?? Rad.

APPLE 1; CONSUMER 0

I got my iPhone a few weeks back and I've been flashing it around like drunk girls in Aruba. I enjoy it very much except for one fatal design flaw. Had I known about this before I prolly still would have bought the phone, but someone still shouldve told me. THE THING CANT SEND OR RECIEVE PICTURE MESSAGES! What the FUCK! Instead I get a text with a randomized username and password with a web address to view my picture online. Sure I can send pictures through email but getting a picture message is an unrivaled exiliration, one I will never again experience. My masterpiece of a phone is flawed. My phone is the hot chick with fucked up teeth.

NOT SAFE FOR PANTS.

Everybody stop anything you're doing and look.



This WILL be the best movie of 2009, I can assure you. The look of this movie feels like the comic book in motion. In a good way, not in the Ang Lee's HULK way. If you haven't read the original graphic novel yet, you've got to read it before the movie comes out, because im sure they are going to omit a lot of details and with a story this rich in characters and history (and there is a lot of it), it only makes the story and eventual resolution better. Check it out NOW, since the trailer hit with THE DARK KNIGHT the Watchmen graphic novel has been in high supply and easily attainable, I even saw a gigantic display at TARGET with countless copies. So if you haven't read it by March 2009, you've had every opportunity and spat on it.

THE ZOETROPES.

I GOT MY IPHONE. I will now address my phone as my iPhone, if you call it a phone, you wont get a response. Also I hope those of you who have my new number will stop calling my old number. That is now a secured line for...business...

Also got ROCK BAND 2 this weekend. If you have a PS3 and want to battle, email me your username, and we can get down. So far, i've played 0 matches online, because nobody in the goddamn world has a PS3. So let's jam already.

This weekend I went to a pizza place that i wont name, for reasons you'll find out soon enough. On the prize wall was a clapboard, one of those small square chalkboards that movie productions use to show what scene their shooting and they clap it before the start of shooting. Well, I wanted it. But there wasn't any sign to show how many tickets i needed to get it. I earned 147 tickets, and went to the counter and tried to acquire it. The man said it was 5,000 tickets. Thats quite a lot of tickets for something that was broken and could have been easily made by someone who wasn't as lazy as I, but oh well. Bottom line is; a friend on mine almost stole it for me but i said no, that it couldnt have been more than 100 tickets, so i would acquire it the honest way. It would have probably been easier to get 5k tickets if the manager hadnt been a dick and had helped me out when a machine took my tokens, instead of what he really did which was punch the machine (which yielded no results, or produced any tokens) some 15 odd minutes after I had requested help. So thanks dick, thanks for the help, Ill enjoy my tickets that im saving to use at another pizza place where their management isnt hoarding broken merch at ridiculous prices. One place had a Mogwai you could win. I think that's my next goal. 15,000 tickets.

MEMORIES. A REVIEW.

I watched QUARANTINE over the weekend and although flawed, it is still a very effective horror film. The good parts? It's a very claustrophobic film, and as the film goes on, the claustrophobia increases and the sets get smaller and smaller. The lighting in this movie and the imagery really help to create suspense and realism, the film holds back a lot of the gory and disturbing images to make your imagination work a little harder to give yourself a scare.



So what's wrong with it? Ill keep this part SPOILER FREE. In order to keep the suspension of disbelief, the characters suffer from all being marvelously stupid. Example: the doctor in the group of trapped people discovers that all the individuals who are infected all show hightened agression and tend to attack people. So when they find an infected person hiding in the closet, what happens?? They carefully inch towards the person asking her to 'be calm'... And then she proceeds to attack them. Stuff like that made me mad. Also [SPOILER, HIGHLIGHT TO READ]ITS GODDAMN OBVIOUS THAT THE LITTLE GIRL IS INFECTED THE ENTIRE TIME [END SPOILER].

Seeing this movie made me yearn for a TRUE Resident Evil movie. This movie LOOKS like a RESIDENT EVIL game on film. Had this movie been about a killer T-Virus and not [some 'ARMEGEDDON VIRUS'], it would've been astounding. So QUARANTINE, despite dumb people in the mix, is a good horror movie, and could've been an even better RESIDENT EVIL movie. True dat.