FINALLY; I DONT BELIEVE; FINALLY PART II

1. From ultimate-guitar.com i read that MTV GAMES and HARMONIX the folks who developed both ROCK BAND games announced that they are making a music game containing nothing but music from THE BEATLES. Wow. I had read a rumor about this in EGM two months ago but the rumors then were that ACTIVISION was going to make a GUITAR HERO BEATLES EDITION, sort of like the GUITAR HERO AEROSMITH that came out last year. HARMONIX said that this WILL NOT be a ROCK BAND game, but instead a brand new standalone game in the spirit of ROCK BAND. I just hope that it has all four instruments and that its compatible with all ROCK BAND gear. If I could play 'Cant buy me love' just once in video game form before i pass, ill be a happy fellow. No official release date yet on the game.




Playing a ROCK BAND style game with THE BEATLES??? Imagine. Just imagine.


2. From aintitcool.com, Fox cancels KING OF THE HILL. Here's how i rate the sunday night cartoon lineup on fox: Simpsons, KOTH, Family guy. And thats it. The ratings have been down for a few seasons on the show, but the writing is still as good as ever, so this is a shame. Ill still watch reruns on FX though.

3. From joblo.com, GHOSTBUSTERS GAME IS GOING TO BE RELEASED AFTER ALL. The GHOSTBUSTERS sequel game was all but finished when it was indefinitely postponed due to its publisher being bought out by another publisher. But thankfully old schooler ATARI has bought the publishing rights to the game and has announced a release date for next year, the 25th anniversary of the movie. So next year I get a GHOSTBUSTERS game, probably a GHOSTBUSTERS blu-ray, and POSSIBLY a third GHOSTBUSTERS movie? All on top of WATCHMEN, TRANSFORMERS 2, PUBLIC ENEMIES, WOLVERINE, and RESIDENT EVIL 5?? Rad.

APPLE 1; CONSUMER 0

I got my iPhone a few weeks back and I've been flashing it around like drunk girls in Aruba. I enjoy it very much except for one fatal design flaw. Had I known about this before I prolly still would have bought the phone, but someone still shouldve told me. THE THING CANT SEND OR RECIEVE PICTURE MESSAGES! What the FUCK! Instead I get a text with a randomized username and password with a web address to view my picture online. Sure I can send pictures through email but getting a picture message is an unrivaled exiliration, one I will never again experience. My masterpiece of a phone is flawed. My phone is the hot chick with fucked up teeth.

NOT SAFE FOR PANTS.

Everybody stop anything you're doing and look.



This WILL be the best movie of 2009, I can assure you. The look of this movie feels like the comic book in motion. In a good way, not in the Ang Lee's HULK way. If you haven't read the original graphic novel yet, you've got to read it before the movie comes out, because im sure they are going to omit a lot of details and with a story this rich in characters and history (and there is a lot of it), it only makes the story and eventual resolution better. Check it out NOW, since the trailer hit with THE DARK KNIGHT the Watchmen graphic novel has been in high supply and easily attainable, I even saw a gigantic display at TARGET with countless copies. So if you haven't read it by March 2009, you've had every opportunity and spat on it.

THE ZOETROPES.

I GOT MY IPHONE. I will now address my phone as my iPhone, if you call it a phone, you wont get a response. Also I hope those of you who have my new number will stop calling my old number. That is now a secured line for...business...

Also got ROCK BAND 2 this weekend. If you have a PS3 and want to battle, email me your username, and we can get down. So far, i've played 0 matches online, because nobody in the goddamn world has a PS3. So let's jam already.

This weekend I went to a pizza place that i wont name, for reasons you'll find out soon enough. On the prize wall was a clapboard, one of those small square chalkboards that movie productions use to show what scene their shooting and they clap it before the start of shooting. Well, I wanted it. But there wasn't any sign to show how many tickets i needed to get it. I earned 147 tickets, and went to the counter and tried to acquire it. The man said it was 5,000 tickets. Thats quite a lot of tickets for something that was broken and could have been easily made by someone who wasn't as lazy as I, but oh well. Bottom line is; a friend on mine almost stole it for me but i said no, that it couldnt have been more than 100 tickets, so i would acquire it the honest way. It would have probably been easier to get 5k tickets if the manager hadnt been a dick and had helped me out when a machine took my tokens, instead of what he really did which was punch the machine (which yielded no results, or produced any tokens) some 15 odd minutes after I had requested help. So thanks dick, thanks for the help, Ill enjoy my tickets that im saving to use at another pizza place where their management isnt hoarding broken merch at ridiculous prices. One place had a Mogwai you could win. I think that's my next goal. 15,000 tickets.

MEMORIES. A REVIEW.

I watched QUARANTINE over the weekend and although flawed, it is still a very effective horror film. The good parts? It's a very claustrophobic film, and as the film goes on, the claustrophobia increases and the sets get smaller and smaller. The lighting in this movie and the imagery really help to create suspense and realism, the film holds back a lot of the gory and disturbing images to make your imagination work a little harder to give yourself a scare.



So what's wrong with it? Ill keep this part SPOILER FREE. In order to keep the suspension of disbelief, the characters suffer from all being marvelously stupid. Example: the doctor in the group of trapped people discovers that all the individuals who are infected all show hightened agression and tend to attack people. So when they find an infected person hiding in the closet, what happens?? They carefully inch towards the person asking her to 'be calm'... And then she proceeds to attack them. Stuff like that made me mad. Also [SPOILER, HIGHLIGHT TO READ]ITS GODDAMN OBVIOUS THAT THE LITTLE GIRL IS INFECTED THE ENTIRE TIME [END SPOILER].

Seeing this movie made me yearn for a TRUE Resident Evil movie. This movie LOOKS like a RESIDENT EVIL game on film. Had this movie been about a killer T-Virus and not [some 'ARMEGEDDON VIRUS'], it would've been astounding. So QUARANTINE, despite dumb people in the mix, is a good horror movie, and could've been an even better RESIDENT EVIL movie. True dat.

THE FORCE UNLEASHED: The next GOOD Star Wars Movie.

Somebody out there is CLAIMING that George Lucas is considering making THE FORCE UNLEASHED into a movie. THE FORCE UNLEASHED is a multimedia venture that has become a video game, graphic novel, and comic book. What makes this series different from other star wars titles is that George Lucas has officially named this title part of the star wars movie fiction, which means that the characters, events, places, and story are part of the original star wars movies. Which is big, considering this is the only official star wars story not written by George Lucas. I hope the movie gets made under CERTAIN conditions. This movie could work or it could be a giant loss like the NEW movies. Heres how it could work:

1. DONT GIVE IT A ROMAN NUMERAL EPISODE NUMBER. Technically this would be Episode 3.5. Seeing that looks like shit. Besides, placing this film anywhere between any films would be dumb. This story is meant to be viewed AFTER all the other movies. Sort of a SubPrequel. Keep the timeline known, yet ambiguous.

2. KEEP THE STORY. Do not let George Lucas make any additions to the story. Keep it fresh and separate from the original films. The prequel trilogy tried to force feed us these new characters that we didnt care about, and reintroduced old characters and made them less interesting. Only keep the characters from THIS STORYLINE, that way there's character development for 3 main characters and not 30 supporting characters.

3. KEEP THE OPENING. Darth Vader hunting Jedi, killing EVERYTHING in his path, leading to a fantastic lightsaber battle. The worst part about REVENGE OF THE SITH was that we didnt get to see Darth Vader being a ruthless Jedi-killing fucker and thats what everybody wanted to see. This will finally be the chance we get to see that.

4. HAVE A NEW DIRECTOR. Example: Disney. A few years ago Disney was pumping out shit. MEET THE ROBINSONS, CHICKEN LITTLE, and not to mention a whole slew of direct to dvd sequels to their classics library, in addition to planning sequels to TOY STORY, A BUGS LIFE, and CARS. Then Disney bought Pixar. One of Pixars main guys, John Lasseter, took over Disney's entire animation department, cancelling all sequels and putting all films on hold until he got to review them. Now Disney is getting great again, TRUE sequels to TOY STORY and CARS are coming, and ALL NEW traditionally animated shorts featuring classic disney characters are soon going to be in theatres, like in the 1940's. The point is Disney lost their drive to tell great stories and became a corporation. It took a new direction from a great storyteller to steer the company back to its storytelling roots. Same with Star Wars. Lucas wants computer effects to tell his story, not storytelling. Let a new director have at it. WHO? Lawrece Kasdan. He directed THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, so he knows how to tell a dark star wars story. Let him have it.


This could not work however. Im not sure how many people outside of the hardcore fans are going to be interested in watching a star wars movie about bad guys killing good guys. Or it could be a fresh take on the series that no fan has ever seen before. If the video game and book sales have any reflection on what kind of movie it would be, then we are all in for something great.

FOUND PICTURES.

Here are some pictures I found on my phone.  Ill describe the adventures below...



My friend Roger always says "I eat muffin tops for breakfast!". Somehow I dont think he means these. BONUS: CHECK OUT THE TAG LINE!



Pin the tail on the Donkey. WIth alcohol.



Mixing spam with bacon may not be good. In a burrito maybe, but not in a can. Look how the SERVING SUGGESTION is blank. Even the fine people at Hormel dont want you to eat this



Thats a mustard bottle in a beer caddy. Thats all i have to say. Eat it.