MARK MY WORDS, VOL. III

It's been a little over a year since THE DARK KNIGHT came out in theaters, and since then people have been praising Heath Ledger for his role as The Joker. And since the movie opened many people are wondering what's going to happen in the next BATMAN movie regarding the Joker. Personally I think, the way TDK ended and the way Batman and Joker were matched so perfectly, that it would be just unacceptable to have the Joker left out of the next movie. They will likely explain his absence in a quick explanation, or just leave him out of the movie without any mention whatsoever (like Nightcrawler in X-Men 3), but either way they WILL not show him on screen. Unless what I predict comes true; one of these two actors will be cast as the JOKER in the next BATMAN MOVIE. I'll explain...

MICHAEL SHANNON

Michael Shannon was actually lost an Oscar to Heath Ledger, but it was a very close call in my opinion. Michael Shannon was nominated for his portrayal in a movie called REVOLUTIONARY ROAD, and the entire time I was watching it, I was waiting for his character to come back on the screen. In a way, his character was the "Joker" in his own movie. He was the only character who didn't lie about the kind of person he was and was not afraid to show his true self no matter how disturbing.

WHY HE'LL GET THE PART: Oscar Nomination. It's a lock that he will no doubt knock it out of the park with his performance, you only need to see REVOLUTIONARY ROAD once to agree with me. And with many film and stage credits to his name, he's got plenty of range to pull off many different faces.

WHY HE WONT GET THE PART: TDK director Christopher Nolan, for the most part, seems to like to cast people he's worked with before, which brings me to...

JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT

Yup, Mr. ANGELS IN THE OUTFIELD himself. G-L has been on the rise lately, starring in two movies this summer, one that you maybe have seen (GI JOE), and one you maybe should have seen instead (500 DAYS OF SUMMER). G-L has been trying to spread his acting wings in past films with roles in BRICK, and STOP-LOSS, but he has yet to have one defining, career making, breakthrough performance. Next summer you will be able to seem him (in some way) in Christopher Nolan's INCEPTION that nobody seems to know anything about, but seeing as how everybody that has a role in any Nolan movie ends up getting critical acclaim for their performances, this could be G-Ls home-run.

WHY HE'LL GET THE PART: Nolan will most likely want to work with previous cast members, and if anybody can pull a great acting job out of anybody, its Nolan. And though not the same build as Ledger, he's got the facial resemblance. Just look at that picture, its almost at a creepy, chill inducing level the way he reminds you of Ledger.

WHY HE WONT GET THE PART: Again, though a good actor, G-L has yet to prove himself as an outstanding actor in a breakthrough role. And there is a chance that he doesn't exactly 'wow' Nolan enough to keep him for a new project.

WHO GETS THE PART?:

JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT

Again, though not GREAT, he has the potential. And I think that Nolan is the man who can make him great. I can easily see Nolan casting JG-L for the role of Joker only to keep his presence in the franchise and not dismiss such a vital and iconic character. I can see the role/screentime of the Joker slimmed down considerably for the next Batman movie though, only providing closure to the open ending of TDK, I don't see him being more present than that, it might be subject to much protest if a non-Ledger Joker is on screen for too long.

So there's my prediction, Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the Joker in BATMAN 3. Mark my words.

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY TRAILER.

A while back in my apartment, we had some trouble with strange occurrences. Our lamp would just turn off and on whenever it felt like it. One night our bathroom cabinet under our sink opened and slammed itself shut. My girlfriend heard knocking on the bathroom door while she was in the shower, and nobody was in the room. Lots of weird stuff. Well one night my girlfriend made the suggestion that we put salt on the countertops and set up a video camera while we slept, in hopes to capture any mischievous entities that may or may not have been visiting us throughout the night. I had no desire to do such a thing. I pussed out. I would never have agreed to film, much less WATCH, such a thing, strictly because I would be too terrified at what I would have seen.

Well somebody else did it and made a movie out of it. And it looks great. And I'm sure they're going to make an obscene amount of money. If only my girlfriend would have told me that it would have been a great idea for a MOVIE, instead of an experimental thing, I'm sure I would be rich now. Better luck next time, I guess.

Anyway heres the link to the trailer, check it out if you're a fan of scary movies. This movie looks like its gonna offer LOTS more than just jump scares, looks like something genuinely terrifying and disturbing. I was scared all night after just watching the TRAILER, imagine how bad it'll be when I'm able to watch the whole thing.

paranormalmovie.com/trailer.html Go there and 'DEMAND IT' to get the movie to play here in Tempe/Phoenix, cause right now its only playing in Tucson.

RETURNS. AGAIN.

HELLO, AND SORRY. It's been quite a while since I've written an article, but I had some major life hurdles to hurdle over, and hurdle I have. So I will work hard to attribute much more entries into my blog of ever-expanding topics, for your enjoyment and mine. I am working on a few articles as I write this post so keep an eye out for those in the coming weeks, in the mean time heres a quick recap of things I didnt get to write about during my absence; --QUICK MOVIE REVIEWS; 500 DAYS OF SUMMER -Didn't float my boat; GI JOE -Cobra Commander and Snake Eyes were the best parts of the movie; DISTRICT 9 -INCREDIBLE; UP-Pixar's most real, mature movie yet, and maybe the best. --Frequent visits to comsumerist.com will help you every time, trust me... --Office pranks are HILARIOUS! All you need is glue, coins, access to google, and some poor sucker's passwords... --JAMES CAMERON'S AVATAR movie trailer didnt rock. It's bad news if your movie's money shot is a space lion. --CHRISTOPHER NOLAN'S INCEPTION movie trailer DID rock. --I really dig the new TOY STORY 3 teaser poster. Instead of putting all the characters in the poster with a sunny background, its just a giant stylized '3' behind a black background and the tagline "NO TOY GETS LEFT BEHIND". PIXAR is doing the right thing by marketing this thing towards an older audience, because most of the kids who saw the first two movies are pretty much grown up now. Hell, I was like 9 when the first movie came out. I'll be back soon with some new trailer reviews...

This is everybodys fault but mine.

I have a video rental card that allows me to rent videos. I don't subscribe to online movie renting sites because I'm waiting until I buy an XBOX, or until it comes to PS3 so I can just stream movies, so until then I'm just going to drive around town looking for DVD copies of movies nobody carries.

Anyways, I got a letter in the mail from my video renting place a few months ago, but it wasn't the usual ads or coupons that get sent to everybody, this was a pretty official looking letter. So I opened it. Right away I noticed the date it was sent, then I noticed the date that it actually was at that time. Somebody at my house got this letter 2 weeks earlier and never told me about it. That's fine, I wasn't that bothered, I got over it. Next I noticed the reason for the letter, a late fee notice. Ok that's cool, maybe I turned in some movies late and forgot about it.

Then I noticed the actual late fee: $265.93.

Then I noticed the titles of the movies. RUSH HOUR 3, WALL-E, and KUNG FU PANDA. I didn't rent these. But then I remembered that my sister was sick about a month before and I let her borrow my video rental card, and that I had found the movies at the house and returned them, OUT OF FEAR THAT THEY WOULD BE LATE. There must have been some mistake. I turned those movies in late, but not 4 weeks late. So I called up Bollywood Video (not the actual name, I changed it for legal reasons), and a girl picks up the phone and I explain my situation and ask if there is any way the fees can be reversed. Not only does she tell me that the fees cannot be reversed because there is no error on their part, but also that the titles in question have YET TO BE TURNED IN. So my late fees are racking up as I speak. So I say "Well, I'm PRETTY positive that I turned those movies in, could you double check?", the girl double checks and says, "Those titles have not yet been checked in and I've looked in all the night drop bins, my manager comes in tomorrow you can call back then and he might be able to help you", then I say, slyly, "Ok thanks, because I'm PRETTY POSITIVE, I turned those movies in". So as I have my phone conversation with the girl from Bollywood Video, my girlfriend, my sister, and my mom are all present to hear it all. My mom asks me what was going on. I told her "I'm pretty sure I turned in these movies but Bollywood Video is charging me for them", and my mom says "What movies?", I tell her the movies, my mom opens up our DVD drawer in the wall unit and says "Are they these?".

And much to my embarrassment, she pulls out RUSH HOUR, WALL-E, and KUNG FU PANDA.

Somebody was cleaning and mixed the BOLLYWOOD VIDEO LABELED DVDs in with our personal DVD collection. And didn't tell anybody. Way to go Family, way to go. Way to make me severely embarrass myself in front of Bollywood Video. This was everybodys fault but mine. I yelled at everybody and made my mom take my sister to return the movies that day, and I didn't call the manager the next day. I didn't call anybody back ever. In fact I've never set foot inside that particular Bollywood Video since that day. And I'm not sure that I will. Until they call me and apologize for letting my 13 year old sister rent movies under my name. At which time, I'll think about it.

Ill make an exception with this one.

I can't say that I am a fan of remakes.  But that doesnt mean that I don't enjoy them.  There are certain films that I don't think need to be remade, but there are others that I wouldnt mind watching.  Starting around 2002 many classic horror movies were starting to get remade.  Some of the movies remade were The Hills Have Eyes, Halloween, and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.  PLATINUM DUNES is the production company that is behind most of these remakes, Texas Chain Saw Massacare, The Amityville Horror, The Hitcher, Friday the 13th, and now A Nightmare On Elm Street.

Now I havent seen all of these remakes, I thought The Amyityville Horror was genuinely scary, I wanted to see the new Friday the 13th just to see how different it was but I never did, The Hills Have Eyes freaked the hell out of me, but overall these movies did not have lasting appeal.  The horror and fear I felt, didnt last once the movie was over for me, and to me that's not very effective.  Sure there were great jump scares, frightening images, but once the movie was over I felt safe.  To me having a classic horror movie, is having something that holds you in its terror long after the movie is over, and you never really feel safe from the threat from the film.  But in a fun way.

The first time I saw the original Nightmare On Elm Street I think I was 19.  And it couldn't have been more terrifying if I had seen it when I was 6, 9, or 15.  What made this movie truly scary and effective for me was the villain Freddy Krueger and how he attacked his victims in their dreams, and the victims never really knew if they were awake or dreaming.  And that ending, after all the deaths, after all the fighting, after all the claws, fire, and blood Freddy was defeated.  Seemingly...  Until the main character wakes up and finds out, she's still dreaming, and still at the hands of Freddy Kreuger.  Classic.

About a year ago the announcement was made by Platinum Dunes that Elm Street was being remade.  Bad news.  Somewhat.  Freddy had become more comical and less frightening in more recent Elm Street movies, so restarting the entire franchise didnt seem like such a bad idea.  Then the announcement was made that the first and only actor to play Freddy Krueger, Robert Englund, would not be returning as Freddy.  Not good.  Right?  THEN it was announced that Jackie Earle Haley, who famously played Rorschach in WATCHMEN would be playing Freddy and cinematical shorts get tight everywhere.  This has by far been the best decision made by any horror movie remake ever.  Freddy is one of the few modern horror villains that speaks regularly, has an interesting and dimensional origin, and has a motive.  If this new movie can keep all those things going, and Haley knocks this one out of the park like he did with Rorschach, we could have a new horror classic.  And one that will be keep you scared everytime you go to sleep, like the first movie did.  Count me in on the Elm Street remake.  Count me in on the midnight screening.

Anyway the movie comes out next April but the teaser poster was unveiled today, and it's all at once familiar and fresh.  Check it out HERE at IGN.com.  It looks like they are going to rely on more than just jump scares and shrieking violins, and are going for genuine terror on this one.  Also, there might be some more images or maybe even some footage shown this weekend at San Diego Comic-Con, so keep your eyes peeled.  Or if not, I'm sure ill post links here.

On the evening of the WATCHMEN release...

WATCHMEN arrives on bluray and DVD tomorrow and I can't wait to get a copy.  It's gonna be a great day tomorrow, a great time wasting day.  SO until I can watch the new director's cut and offer my opinion, here are some things that have been on my mind;

EASTBOUND & DOWN is now on DVD and if you havent watched the show, YOU HAVE TO.  BUY the DVD if you can.  If you can't, buy a knife, and steal it.  It's that great of a show.  If you are a fan of Talladega Nights, Pineapple Express, or The Foot Fist Way, this is a must watch show.  Even if the first season is only about 7 episodes long, its worth every penny to hear Kenny Powers say 'I made sex to her', and 'On the reg'.

ANDY SAMBERG'S 'MOTHERLOVERS' AND FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS' 'CAROL BROWN' BOTH NOMINATED FOR EMMYS and if Andy Samberg wins over FOTC, I will lose faith in man.  There is NO way that FOTC cannot win this.  CAROL BROWN, and the episode it comes from, were the best of the second season, and Andy Samberg is...well Andy Samberg.  I had the pleasure of seeing FOTC live a few months ago and I can easily say its been the most entertaining show I have ever been to.  They just need the cred they deserve.

SCARLETT JOHANSSON AS BLACK WIDOW PICTURES are now online and just as I thought, ridiculous.  She looks like an awkward chubby teenager in a bad costume, add that to an actress that can't act, and we have bad news coming.  Everything about Iron Man 2 looked great until I heard she was going to be Black Widow, then the pictures came and it got worse.  I just hope she only shows up for 15 minutes of the movie, or at least all her scenes are in the dark.

'LET THE RIGHT ONE IN' UNNECESSARILY REMADE FOR U.S. THEATERS.  If you read my reviews, you'll know about a movie called LET THE RIGHT ONE IN, a Polish film about a young boy who befriends a young girl who turns out to be a vampire.  Now, me being a fan for (real, geek) vampires (not TWILIGHT, trendy, false vampires who make up their own rules) and zombies/undead in any movie, I enjoyed it very much.  Seeing as how the movie was great as it was, someone decided to make an Americanized remake, probably because they would rather spend money to make a new version in English with hip American names and corny Alt-Rock music cued juuuuuuuust right, instead of having people read subtitles.  The director of CLOVERFIELD will direct the new version re-titled "Let Me In".  I got no problems with the guy, I enjoyed CLOVERFIELD very much, but at the end of the day CLOVERFIELD was a monster movie.  No real vision or sense of directorial ownership.  In other words, the director made no difference, the movie probably would have been the same had it been directed by anybody else.  So i dont know how to feel about this director.  Could he have made CLOVERFIELD an even more important film had he injected his own personal directing style?  Did he do that already and we just cant tell because he HAS no style?  We'll just have to wait and see I guess.  All I'm saying is, why mess with something that is perfectly enjoyable as it is.

Ok, thats all for today.  I'll try to watch some more movies this week and write up some reviews, so keep looking for those.  500 DAYS OF SUMMER opens Friday, so look for a review here on that, and most likely a review of an old movie.  For fun.  

CONSEQUENCES. A PICTORIAL ESSAY.

Here are some consequences that I have recently suffered.  All the pictures included below are real and unaltered in any way, and were shot by me.

This is what you get when you order a MEDIUM drink at a place that only has LARGE and SMALL drinks on the menu.

This is what happens when you order a subscription to Electronic Gaming Monthly.

This is what you get when you order EIGHT cupcakes with only TWO people present.

This is what happens when I feel that you are drunk enough that you might throw up in my car on the way home.

PS, I added a nifty SEARCH bar to the left, so you can now search ALL my articles for content in case you need to find an article but forgot when it was posted!  And if you're me, you can recall your own damn articles yourself and not be caught off guard when somebody quotes your reviews and you don't get the reference.  Thanks to Pat for the inspiration for the new addition.